Terrible events like the earthquake that has devastated Port au Prince and other communities in Haiti in the past week, can affect us deeply. These events leave many of us feeling at a loss as to how we can help those affected by a disaster of such magnitude. Connected Beginnings offers the following information and suggestions, adapted from a letter written by the Somerville Community Partnership for Children, for ways in which those working with young children and their families can provide such needed support:
First, make sure you know which individuals and families within your work and community networks, have ties to Haiti and who might be in need of support during this time. Be aware that families may be having a hard time getting any information about their loved ones, and therefore may be under high stress for many days. Keep in mind that such devastating events as have occurred in Haiti can also affect adults and children who have no personal ties to Haiti. Children may hear upsetting details, see frightening or confusing images connected to the events, and sense the intensity of worry and feeling from adults in their lives. Such stress can change the behavior we expect in both adults and children. Adults may seem less attentive, more preoccupied. Children may become withdrawn or even act out.
Remember that you can support families by being sensitive to what is going on. Be mindful that changes we see in behavior are normal in this kind of situation. With support and patience, we can help them feel better.
Some specific ideas that can help are:
- Keep routines and expectations the same. Children feel safe when things are familiar.
- Children and adults need us to listen very carefully during stressful times. Offer physical and emotional support. If possible, ask parents and other family caregivers of young children what they think their children know or have heard about the earthquake. Have conversations with older children to learn how these events are affecting them.
- Be extra aware of children’s and youth’s feelings. Remember that young children are more likely to show us what they are feeling than to tell us with words. We can help by saying things like:
- I wonder what you are thinking about today?
- Mommy told me you saw some scary pictures. Remember that those are far away. Your home and your school here are safe.
- Offer children the opportunity to share their thoughts in any way that is comfortable-discussion, writing, quiet thoughts. Make sure to share accurate, concise facts about the event in order to promote age-appropriate understanding.
- Children need opportunities to relax. If you work with young children, be sure to offer open-ended, sensory activities that are calming.
- Stress effects memory. Remember that when children and adults are worried or scared they sometimes temporarily forget things that they knew before, such as academic information, rules or appointments.
- Some ways to talk with young children about this are:
- The rules are still the same here. I won’t let anyone get hurt at this school.
- Even when things are scary and confusing, I will still help you and keep you safe here.
- Sometimes even grown-ups feel sad or worried, but they will be OK.
- Reminders. For older youth, clear reminders about the expectations at school and expressions of support and care for what their families are going through can help.
- Let families with children know about ways to get and give support. Consider involving older children in planning and organizing events that provide support and raise donations for victims and their families.
- Check in with parents and other family caregivers to let them know that you understand that there is a crisis. Do this out of the “earshot” of young children.
- Media Watch. Remind families to keep radios and televisions off when young children are present. Also be aware of other ways children might access frightening images, such as in magazines, newspapers, and on websites. Share resources with older children about where to find accurate information and support.
- Remind children that they are safe. They naturally worry most about themselves and the people who care for them. They need reminders that the adults around them are keeping them safe.
- Share the Action Plan. Let children of all ages know that are many people in the US working to help people in Haiti now.